Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Sometimes detailed just isn't detailed ENOUGH

The stuff in bold is the text I got from my Air BnB host regarding how to get to his place from the airport.  The other text is what I was thinking and how things ACTUALLY went down.

Now, if you have NO experience with German, then this will make NO sense to you, and you will feel EXACTLY as I did upon receiving this message from my host.  If you do have experience/knowledge of German, try to forget all that and pretend with me.

I had gotten a last second place to stay with someone through Air BnB and he seemed really awesome and gave me, what seemed like at the time, super detailed directions on how to get to his place.  


Alright, so with some construction this is going to be a mini journey but it should be enjoyable :). This will cost you about 3.50 euros as opposed to a 20 something taxi.

Awesome!  I appreciate that!  I can do public transportation.

From the airport you are going to get on the sbahn (above ground rail) and you will get on the RE7 (Dessau).
You will take this for a while till Ostbahnhof (a larger station).

Shit.  I don't know that word.  And where does one go to get on the "sbahn"?

Me to person at counter in airport: Where do I catch the sbahn?
Person at the counter points me in the general direction.  

Now, I am going to follow the stream of people to what looks like train tracks.  People are lining up to buy tickets.  Crap.  That means I should buy tickets.  

(So I stand in line and when I get up to the front of the line)

Wow, none of this is in English.  And I don't see the words "Ostbahnhof", "RE7", or Dessau anywhere.

To person next to me: Do you speak English
Person: Yes
Me: Awesome!  Can you help me?  I don't know what ticket to get?
Person: Where are you trying to go?
Me: I'm not sure, but this (show her the phone) is the information I have.
Person: (glances at the phone) Oh, you want this one (she pushes the buttons for a ticket)
Me: Thank you so much! (I put in my money, take my change and the ticket)

Phew.  Now, where do I catch this train?  This "station" is really empty.  Do trains even come here?  How can you tell which platform you need?  (I finally found a map or something that helped with this) But what if I get on the wrong direction?! (I look on the map, find the word Dessau) Ooh!  I know that word!  I need to follow that word!

(I go to the platform and wait for the next train, about 10 minutes but it felt like half an hour!)

(I get on the train and get off at the appropriate station and continue the instructions)

From here you will switch to the S5 (Hoppegarten) to Warschauer Straße Station. This is a major tourist hub so be prepared :). From here you will walk up some steps and cross a bridge that will end with some kiosks.

Riiiiiiiiight.  S5.  And what the hell is that weird "b" thing?

(I do some walking back and forth to figure out where to go, which direction I want and then I look again, just to be sure.

(Once off the train, there really only seemed to be 1 way to go, so I just followed the crowd and it did indeed lead me up stairs and across a bridge with some kiosks)

Cool.  This is all going ok so far!

You will take a right up the street and walk about 200 meters. There will be a Sparkasse Bank on your right side about a block up.

A what?  

(I walk about 200m)  

Is that a bank?  Does it say Sparkasse?  Is this a block, or half a block?  Oh, look!  A TRAM!  Where does it stop?  That's probably where I need to be!

Here there will be a tram stop on your left side. Here you will take the M13 going the direction of your right. I believe it will say Wedding on it. You will ride this about ten minutes and you want to exit at Möllendorffstr/storkowerstr.
It will be two stops after the frankfurter allee stop
Which is in front of a very large shopping complex.

I'm on the right tram.  Cool.  I didn't see any "Wedding" on it so I guess I'll just keep my eyes out for the stop names.  Weird freaking names.  German is weird.

(About 10 minutes later I do indeed pass a large shopping complex, and the stop called Frankfurter Allee)

Oh, thank god!  Ok, only 2 more stops then I get off.

(I ride 2 stops farther)

Wait, that isn't the right name?  Maybe he meant 3 stops?  I'll ride to the next one and if it isn't the Möllendorffstr/storkowerstr stop, then I'll get off and double back.  We seem to be traveling down a main road.

(The next stop is indeed the Möllendorffstr/storkowerstr stop, so I hop off)

From the Möllendorffstr stop you will exit and my building is the late one being renovated opposite of the stop across from the church:
Môllendorffstr (number hidden) Berlin.
It is the second door to the right of the ice skate shop. My apartment is the first on your left side, on the first floor. The front door is unlocked.
Thanks/ good luck and I'll see you when you get here :). Enjoy the ride and take in the view, you will be traveling from the south of Berlin to the east.

What?  What direction do I exit the train?  Do I cross the street?  Left or right dude?!  I don't see a church!  AND WHAT THE HELL IS CONSIDERED A "LATE" BUILDING?  Crap!  Everything is "under renovation!  Where am I supposed to go?!!!!!!  (this was all happening simultaneously, and without any order.  Needless to say I was on the verge of panicking)

(Deep breaths happen)

(Looking around.  Find a street sign.  It says Môllendorffstr.)

Ok, that is the street his building is on.  So I know it is along THIS street.

(I look around for anything that looks like a church, since churches tend to have steeples here and look relatively conspicuous)

Well, I guess I should just start walking and see what happens to the numbers on the buildings, or if there is a church or something nearby.

(So I start walking.  The numbers don't show up regularly, and when they do they make NO sense so I end up walking up and down the same block about 3 times before I finally decide to just keep going.  I'm looking at each building as I pass it thinking...)

Is that a "late building"?  Does "late" mean old here too?  What about that one?  It looks kind of old.  But is that old for HERE.  Get out of the colonies Kathryn!  Think Germany!  Old is OLDER here.  But is he talking ugly?  Architecture wise?  I know shit about architecture.

(So I decide to continue walking in the direction I had come.  He did, after all, say to go only 2 stops.  Maybe that had been a mistake?  So I'm walking and scrutinizing every single building I walk by if it is "late" when I finally see a church)

AH!!  A church!!  Hidden in amongst these trees, almost on an "island" in the middle of this road, but whatever.  A CHURCH!  

(Now I start looking around with even more gusto)

Oooh!  That building looks like it is kind of old.  Oh, no wait!  That one!  Right across from the church, COMPLETELY surrounded by scaffolding, looks old, that HAS to be it!

(I walk to the building and find the ice skating shop)

ICE SKATING SHOP!  I never thought I'd be so happy to see sparkly spandex!  This has GOT to be the right place.  Ok.  What did he say, 2 doors down from the shop?  

(I check the message again)

Yeah.  Awesome!

(I go in the door and go up to the first floor.  There are only 2 doors.  I knock on the door on my left.)

God I hope this is the right one, but it is a 50/50 chance right?  

(I hear some moving around, the clicky toes of a dog..)

Oooh, dog is a good sign.  He has a dog!

(And the door is opened and there stands a person who could be my host)

Me: Jacob?
Jacob: You're alive!


So at this point, I've been surviving on adrenaline.  I'm tired, hungry and really want a shower.  Jacob shows me around and then shows me my room.  My OWN room.  After a week of hostels I have missed the freedom of having my OWN space.  He asks me if I'm hungry, I say an enthusiastic yes, and he says he has some left over (insert italian food thingy) that he can heat up.  It was SO good!

After eating I sit down to play with the dog and chat with Jacob and his roommate a bit before crashing.  When he realizes that this was my first day in Germany, with NO German experience he opens his eyes wide and said,

"Well, if I'd known that I would have given you TOTALLY different directions!  Wow."

That's right.  Wow.  I survived.  

I.  Survived.

Welcome to Germany Kathryn

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